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Thursday, February 03, 2005

Love those Iraqis



"Baghdad — The U.S. military said Tuesday that no American soldiers have been reported missing in Iraq after a web statement claimed that an American soldier had been taken hostage.

The authenticity of the statement and photo could not be verified, and Staff Sgt. Nick Minecci of the U.S. military's press office in Baghdad said “no units have reported anyone missing.”

But questions were raised about the authenticity of a photo purporting to show a hostage with a gun to his head. The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless.

Liam Cusack, of the toy manufacturer Dragon Models USA, inc., said the image of the soldier portrayed in the photo bore a striking resemblance to a military action figure made by the company." The Globe and Mail

This is no laughing matter...for either side. If the Iraqis have indeed taken GI Joe hostage, then not only will the US have lost their smartest solider, but the "enemy" will have no doubt invoked the wrath of Desert Storm Barbie (TM), who was last seen just south of Baghdad, shooting up a rampaging horde of be-towelled, RPG-toting My Little Ponies with Dune Assault Action Man from her pink humvee.

But seriously. If this is actually some poor real dude....shame. The glaring reality is that everyone thinks he's an 8-inch piece of moulded rubber (with accessories), and no-one really cares if the arabs rip his arms off, drop him from a flat roof with only a plastic parachute tied to his waist with a piece of string to ease his fall, or twist him together with He Man into an assortment of painful and utterly offensive positions. Sorry - just a little childhood flashback...but we all know that you did it too!

Shit. Even The Salami beheaded a number of Joe's comrades during the now infamous Operation Temper Tantrum in July, 1986. I did squish their head backs on later, though - and they were mostly fine. I promise.

Love those Iraqis. Morons.




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