Friday, September 17, 2004

'Slutwear' Is So Last Year on New York Runways

"NEW YORK (Reuters) - Now you see it. Soon you won't. In a trend sure to be a relief to some and a disappointment to others, women will cover up instead of baring it all next season as the "slutwear" look comes to an end.

Demure designs have replaced scanty navel-baring looks on the catwalks of this week's semi-annual run of fashion shows, a reliable sign of what shoppers can expect to find in stores next spring.

"The slut is out now. She's dead," said Godfrey Deeny, senior fashion critic at Fashion Wire Daily.

In recent seasons, fashion has been filled with skimpy tops exposing midriffs, cleavage-revealing necklines and jeans slung so low that precious little was left to the imagination -- looks impossible to avoid on such pop icons as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

This season, blousy linen took the place of sheer chiffon, while shades of white chased away an edgier black. Necklines were up, while hemlines were hovering down at the knee.

"It's very ladylike. It's not jump-into-bed fashion," Deeny said of the new look on runways as established powerhouses to new designers trotted out more fabric and less skin than in seasons past. "

More: http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?

This is absolutely disgraceful. Who the fuck gets to make a decision like this? I firmly believe that slutwear represents the pinnacle of style, and the culmination of 3000 years of natural fashion evolution. We've got it where we want it, why the hell should it change now? Young girls have fantastic bodies, and its criminal to expect them to cover up. If fashion fundi's are so anti-skin and so pro Landbou Weekblad, why the hell don't they just convert to Islam and go and live in Yemen? Let the rest of us enjoy the vleis we're getting now. Heck, before we know it, girls will start saving themselves for marriage, wearing bloomers and dragging us down to the drugstore for sodas and sundaes. Bollocks. Vive la Slut!

Klingon porno

It really is terrifying what you can find on the internet without even really looking. And I PROMISE you that I did NOT google "Klingon porn" - i just kinda stumbled across it.

Even scarier is the fact that there are people in the world who get off on shit like this. Frankly, I've always thought that Mena Suvari looked a tad Klingon - its got something to do with her enormous forehead, I'm sure.

Aaaaah, crap. Who am I kidding? I've pulled some real Klingons in my time.

Jimmy - here's some more: http://solo.abac.com/sbock/klingon/kl_nude.html

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Offerings from Jimmy

Thanks to Jimmy Steere for his unflinching support and his invaluable contributions. I laughed quite a bit.

And finally, Jimmy was good enough to drag out the Steere family wedding photos. Notice how young Jimmy even cracks a pre-natal appearance. In case you were wondering, the dog is now dead. And he was not the father.

Bad dog! Bad driving!

"WHITEHORSE (Canada) - A pedestrian in a Whitehorse suburb was taken aback Tuesday night when a dog drove by in a red pickup truck.

Police say a person was out for a walk when the truck with a black Labrador at the wheel passed by. When the police arrived, the truck was in the middle of Thompson Road in Granger, blocking traffic. The dog was still behind the wheel.

The RCMP [Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I'm guessing] went door to door in the neighbourhood, and eventually found the owner. He was was watching the World Cup hockey game with a friend.

Police say the dog likely knocked the truck into gear causing it to roll down the hill. There were no injuries or damages, and no indication from police they plan to charge the owner".

This is fantastic! Canada's finally catching up with South Africa, where its pretty much the norm to see panting mongrels racing mini-bus taxis and f*&king up the traffic. I've had enough.

They're back!

"Nerd alert!

Fox Searchlight has greenlighted a remake of 1984's hit college comedy, Revenge of the Nerds, which follows a fraternity of misfits seeking payback against the football players harassing them, Daily Variety reports.
The original starred Anthony Edwards, Robert Carradine and Timothy Busfield as a bunch of socially awkward but lovable freshman at Adams College who find themselves oppressed and taunted by the more popular jocks of the Alpha Beta fraternity. Hoping to avoid more wedgies, the nerds form their own frat and attempt to over the student council, inciting an all-out war.

Revenge of the Nerds, which also featured John Goodman, Bernie Casey and James Cromwell, became a surprise hit at the box office, grossing over $40 million.

It also spawned three sequels, 1987's Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, 1992's Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation, and 1994's Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds In Love.
It is also likely to feature new oddballs, though the filmmaker didn't rule out cameos by original castmembers, giving hope that the writers might someday resurrect Ogre, Booger and other memorably-titled characters. "

For more: http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,14936,00.html

The freaks come out

Friday, 10 September 2004. Drop Zone. Pretoria. 23h42. What the hell were we thinking?

PS. Congratulations to Chris and Rich, who found out early on Saturday morning that their joint application for Chinese citizenship had been approved.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Holland win "Synchronised Camel Toe" gold!!

click to enlarge
Originally uploaded by fireboy.

Dr Jekyl and Ms Hyde

Below is a picture of two women. They are one and the same person. Could you believe it? Well, believe it...cos its f*&kin' true!!

The woman, clearly suffering from multiple personality disorder, is none other than current Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins, who's skirt unselfishly decided to ditch her ass during a recent fashion event, showing the world her rather unflattering thong.

The lesson that I hope everyone takes away from this little article: don't diss the fat, ugly bitch picking her nose in the office next to you - she could be the next Giselle Bundchen.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The gospel according to Tommy Lee

In his latest book, Tommyland, Tommy Lee discusses the technical problems with threesomes and the inherent superiority of foursomes.

"There are only so many things you can all do together and there are a few lovely things you can do to both of them at the same time and them to you. But when it comes time for [bleeping], unless there's something out there that I don't know about, you've only got one [sex organ] so there's always someone waiting. The thing to do is have foursomes. Three chicks and just you. If you have three chicks as into one another as they are into you, you can [have sex with] one and watch the other two go at it, which adds to the overall horniness. [I] may increase the number of girls, but [I'll] never be with fewer than three."

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/gossip/30152.htm

Words to live by.

Monday, September 13, 2004


Until this morning, I genuinely believed that some vestige of innocence still resided deep within my blackened soul. It took a duck around 07h45.

I had never heard of the "goatse.cx" man before, and I wish I never had.

An explanation of this cyber-phenomenon reads as follows:
"Goatse.cx is one of the most widely known Internet shock sites. Its front page contains an explicit picture, hello.jpg, featuring a man wearing a gold ring on his left hand (and nothing else) manually stretching his anus and rectum to a diameter roughly equal to the width of his hand. Below the anus, the man's dangling penis and testicles are visible. The site is commonly linked to by Internet trolls in order to shock unsuspecting users with the image. Hello.jpg has the caption "stinger"."

For more, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse.

The PG version:

Now, if you can stomach it, the whole 9 yards (literally):

Top 10 viral emails...

...courtesy of the Sun: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,13-2004420628,00.html

Click on the links on the right hand side of the page to view. A couple of amusing pictures, anyhoo.

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