Monday, November 29, 2004

The Bill Clinton - Loch Ness Monster connection

"Bill Clinton ordered a bizarre spy unit to contact the Loch Ness monster by telepathy.

The then-US president gave the go-ahead for his Psychic Spying Unit to find Nessie as part of a £15 million operation.

One of the leading lights in the hush-hush mission later claimed to have found a 'faint trace' of the elusive monster using his psychic powers.

But in his report to the White House he admitted that the monster he 'saw' was only the ghost of a dinosaur.

Operation Nessie was launched to establish whether psychic contact could be made with alien life forms.

The exercise has been revealed by author Jon Ronson in his new book 'The Men Who Stare at Goats' about the US military's weirdest tactics and operations. Ronson was given access to previously classified materials for the book. He said: 'It was an extremely serious operation, however crackpot it may sound.

'The Americans were convinced the Russians were ahead of them in the field of psychic study and had platoons of psychically-trained soldiers ready to launch a stealth attack on the US.'

The US Army worked on the project from a base at Fort Meade, Maryland. It was led by General Albert Stubblebine, Chief of Intelligence for the US Army, and Major Ed Dames. The unit had begun investigating UFOs and the possibility alien races - particularly Martians - were living among humans.

The major believed that Martians had been resettled on Earth thousands of years ago by leaders of the Galactic Federation - an ancient race who had been visiting the planet since the age of the dinosaurs.

Ronson said: 'Dames told me he had targeted the Loch Ness Monster for psychic contact. He spent a long time trying to reach the monster from his clapperboard hut in Maryland but he could only find a faint trace of her. Based on his work he decided she must be the ghost of a dinosaur. His report went right up to President Clinton.'

Stubblebine was relieved of his position after he started to believe he could levitate and pass through walls.

He frequently sported black eyes and bruises because of his habit of running at walls full tilt - with no success." Sunday Mail

This doesn't often happen, but I am at a loss for words. What the fuck can I say? This is phenomenal.

Fuck it. I'm stumped.

I can confirm, however, that after reading this riveting article, I have an unnerving suspicion that General Stubbleline is now living in Johanesburg under the moniker Tiger Cohen.


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